New World Order to Change Order from Global Domination to Chicken Parmesan

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LINKÖPING, SWEDEN

In a surprise press conference delivered today from the depths of their cave lair in the side of an unnamed mountain, an anonymous spokesman from the New World Order spoke out today, claiming that their mission for global domination has taken too long, and they have asked instead for a plate of chicken Parmesan.

“We have been conspiring for generations from the shadows for different ways that we can run governments, control people, and create the utopia we’ve always dreamed of. However, after much time spent at the table, we have unanimously agreed to change our mission from global control to getting hot plates of pasta with chicken. It was a long time coming, but for the last few decades, we’ve slowly realized this is our best chance of making a difference”

It wasn’t mentioned as to where they were going to be getting their pasta from, but there was a mention of it being “both reasonably inexpensive and also comes with unlimited bread sticks”.

This was a shock to the conspiracy community, and currently their websites are buzzing with turmoil and riots have broken out in Baltimore once again over this.

“We always knew that the NWO was a real thing” one protester told Inquirio, “but we never expected them to make such a dramatic and bold statement.”

Before leaving the press conference, the spokesman was asked about how they were going to split the bill. “Well, some of us came here with our parents, so we assume they’ll be picking up at least part of the bill.”

As for the tip, they said “We think a solid 12% is fair”

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